youcrashquims:
ireallyhatecornnuts:
youcrashquims:
ireallyhatecornnuts:
So yesterday I went to my parents’ house and hung out with my dad for a while.
Here’s a story about my dad: sixteen years ago he cheated on my mom with her cousin. They worked their way through it and they’re still together, but the liaison with Sunshine (that’s the cousin’s name) led to the…
I fail to see how any of this can in any way be construed as against women. The original poster just laid out how she explained to her father that the bias against him was created by a patriarchy that believes women’s only real goal is to raise children, so they must raise children, no matter if that woman is fit to do so or not, no matter if the father may have more interest or ability.
I really… really do not get how any of what she said has been twisted, and anyone who ‘hates feminism’ needs to be fucking slapped. THERE ARE PROBLEMS in western white feminism, a lot of problems, but goddamn it, intersectional feminism is vital in this day and age, in this culture. Because the patriarchy damages men too. IReallyHateCornNuts just fucking proved that- that it damages men too, and pits them against themselves and women,
AND PEOPLE GOT MISOGYNY from this?
Did you know that not all women are angels? Did you know that, because we are all human beings, some women are shitty fucking people?
Equality means equality. That means not wanting special treatment or to be held as ‘flawless’. It means equal representation, equal treatment, and the ability to be seen as a person instead of a brood mare, a whore, or a virgin.
Feminism has no goddamn meaning if it doesn’t allow for women to be human enough to make mistakes or act badly.
I’m a feminist. I’m a hardcore, intersectional, queer, anti racist feminist…
and I will call a woman out on being a fuckhead faster than anyone else, because I hold them to the same fucking standard I hold men to: do not rape, do not abuse people, take care of your fucking problems, and do not act like a goddamn fool.
We are NOT fragile, we do NOT need special patronizing treatment, and no, not all of us should be, or want to be, mothers.
Basically this. Every reblog of this where people were calling me an idiot who wanted to make a men’s rights’ problem about women (protip: at the heart, it IS about women and the fact that according to society we have one role to play, and only one role. It hurts men too, but it’s directly aimed at us) fails to understand how society works.
That said, I’m willing to acknowledge error if someone points it out with a valid argument. I’m only human, and I’m wrong more often than I’m right, genius-level intellect aside. My autism often makes it difficult for me to express things, as well, so I quite probably fucked up in the initial post and made something more convoluted than it needed to be.
But of course, as youcrashquims pointed out: I’m human. I’m female, but I’m still allowed to make mistakes. Don’t coddle me, but talk to ME rather than passive-aggressively hinting that I don’t know what I’m talking about because I have a pussy. Come on, guys, use your brains.
The problem with both feminists and non-feminists/feminist hating people is that both of them tend to live in bubbles wherein they have never had real life experiences that relate to this shit, so of course they have no way to like, process it, and they end up just saying OH THOSE CRAZY FEMINISTS MAKE SHIT UP or OH YOU DON’T AGREE WITH WHAT MY PROFESSOR SAID SO YOU ARE A MISOGYNIST
and I’m fuckin’ sick of it.
I really feel like these motherfuckers do not have the capability of deep thought or something, and just knee-jerk their way through the internet. I hope they don’t do that irl because one day someone’s gonna gut-check them.
Possibly me. Because I have no patience left for this shit anymore.
I refuse to allow my experiences to be erased because they are not someone’s idea of perfection, I refuse to let that happen to others, and I fucking refuse to allow my gender (cis and trans, ALL WOMEN) to be cast as helpless, perfect, and inferior. And if you are saying we are NEVER wrong, if you are saying women are ALWAYS perfect mothers and that women ALWAYS deserve to be coddled, then you are fucking treating us as inferior, I have no time for it, but I will SHOW YOU, PHYSICALLY, and PAINFULLY that I am NOT inferior.
Because I am a *bitch*. And I will not be walked over or victimized again.
YES. YES. THIS.
I’m sorry that my experiences as an ACTUAL FEMALE dealing with ACTUAL ISSUES in the REAL FUCKING WORLD doesn’t align with whatever the FUCK you want it to align with. Cuz seriously, try climbing the ranks in a male-dominated workforce for ten years, or working as a journalist and being called “Sweet tits” or getting into a relationship with a woman and having it invalidated or being called the man or getting the shit beat out of you and being accused of instigating it or being raped and told it’s your fault because you got drunk. And then tell me that I’m not a real feminist. Try going to a therapist and them trying to take your sexual assault and make you a victim all over again when you’ve already worked through that shit BECAUSE CLEARLY THAT SHOULD HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND IF I DON’T HAVE A RUINED LIFE I *WANTED* TO BE RAPED.
Fuck these people.
youcrashquims:
ireallyhatecornnuts:
So yesterday I went to my parents’ house and hung out with my dad for a while.
Here’s a story about my dad: sixteen years ago he cheated on my mom with her cousin. They worked their way through it and they’re still together, but the liaison with Sunshine (that’s the cousin’s name) led to the…
I fail to see how any of this can in any way be construed as against women. The original poster just laid out how she explained to her father that the bias against him was created by a patriarchy that believes women’s only real goal is to raise children, so they must raise children, no matter if that woman is fit to do so or not, no matter if the father may have more interest or ability.
I really… really do not get how any of what she said has been twisted, and anyone who ‘hates feminism’ needs to be fucking slapped. THERE ARE PROBLEMS in western white feminism, a lot of problems, but goddamn it, intersectional feminism is vital in this day and age, in this culture. Because the patriarchy damages men too. IReallyHateCornNuts just fucking proved that- that it damages men too, and pits them against themselves and women,
AND PEOPLE GOT MISOGYNY from this?
Did you know that not all women are angels? Did you know that, because we are all human beings, some women are shitty fucking people?
Equality means equality. That means not wanting special treatment or to be held as ‘flawless’. It means equal representation, equal treatment, and the ability to be seen as a person instead of a brood mare, a whore, or a virgin.
Feminism has no goddamn meaning if it doesn’t allow for women to be human enough to make mistakes or act badly.
I’m a feminist. I’m a hardcore, intersectional, queer, anti racist feminist…
and I will call a woman out on being a fuckhead faster than anyone else, because I hold them to the same fucking standard I hold men to: do not rape, do not abuse people, take care of your fucking problems, and do not act like a goddamn fool.
We are NOT fragile, we do NOT need special patronizing treatment, and no, not all of us should be, or want to be, mothers.
Basically this. Every reblog of this where people were calling me an idiot who wanted to make a men’s rights’ problem about women (protip: at the heart, it IS about women and the fact that according to society we have one role to play, and only one role. It hurts men too, but it’s directly aimed at us) fails to understand how society works.
That said, I’m willing to acknowledge error if someone points it out with a valid argument. I’m only human, and I’m wrong more often than I’m right, genius-level intellect aside. My autism often makes it difficult for me to express things, as well, so I quite probably fucked up in the initial post and made something more convoluted than it needed to be.
But of course, as youcrashquims pointed out: I’m human. I’m female, but I’m still allowed to make mistakes. Don’t coddle me, but talk to ME rather than passive-aggressively hinting that I don’t know what I’m talking about because I have a pussy. Come on, guys, use your brains.
slinkyinky:
ireallyhatecornnuts:
So yesterday I went to my parents’ house and hung out with my dad for a while.
Here’s a story about my dad: sixteen years ago he cheated on my mom with her cousin. They worked their way through it and they’re still together, but the liaison with Sunshine (that’s the cousin’s name) led to the…
Jeez dude, is this your most-noted post? Figures it’s a bunch of haters who don’t know how to read thoroughly before responding.
Also your dad is the shit, and I really hope that I have the resources to meet him one day in the near future.
I think it’s probably my most-noted post with original content, yeah. I honest to God don’t care at this point because these people don’t know me or my dad and thus aren’t equipped to make a judgement call.
Also most of them are idiots. *shrug*
My dad, the accidental feminist
So yesterday I went to my parents’ house and hung out with my dad for a while.
Here’s a story about my dad: sixteen years ago he cheated on my mom with her cousin. They worked their way through it and they’re still together, but the liaison with Sunshine (that’s the cousin’s name) led to the conception of my youngest sister, Nicole.
Nikki lived with us for the first two years of her life. I actually helped raise her because both of my parents were at work a good chunk of the time and Sunshine is mentally incapacitated (something none of us realized until she let six-month-old Nikki crawl across a street - Sunshine was living with us at the time. Let it be said that my mother is a woman with extreme reserves of patience and tolerance). I was 11 at the time, and Nikki may as well have been my child - I changed her diapers, I took her for walks in her stroller, I played with her, I dressed her, I bathed her, I fed her. I also helped take care of my middle sister, Ashley, who was 8 or 9 at the time.
When Nikki was twoish she went to visit her grandparents for a week - Sunshine’s parents. They never gave her back. They took her across state lines and refused to give her back and the DA and judges here in town, instead of pressing charges against them for kidnapping, gave them custody. His decision was based on the fact that by the time that the case came to court, Sunshine was living with them and as the mother, she deserved custody. They gave us three supervised visitation sessions and then that was it, we never get to see her.
I’ve seen Nikki exactly two times in the past 13 years (once at my great-grandmother’s funeral). My dad hasn’t seen her once. He wants to see her more than anything but until she turns 18 in two years, he doesn’t get the option (when I talked to her at Nana’s funeral she expressed an interest in seeing him, but her grandparents won’t allow it).
Dad might not live two years. He may die never getting to see his youngest daughter.
I tell you this story to tell you another story. My father, because of this, has been a huge proponent of men’s rights ever since. This is the same father who raised me to be genderless, essentially - I never grew up feeling less-than or scared because of what was between my legs. Mom and Dad treated me like a human being, not a woman, and I am grateful as shit to them because of it because I don’t have to live my life in fear because of it. My parents support my decision not to have children, understand why, and tear new assholes into anyone who insinuates that I’m not a real woman because of it. They’re the most amazing people on the planet. My father is basically the opposite of a misogynist, and yet, men’s rights.
So yesterday he and I got into a discussion about feminism, which my father has always supported with the caveat that women need to be elevated but men don’t need to be put down (strong emphasis on the equal rights as opposed to superior rights). My dad’s a feminist, yeah, always has been, even when I wasn’t. I remember telling him that I didn’t consider myself a feminist and he told me, word for word: “Then you’re an idiot and you’re willing to hand your rights away. Get with the fuckin’ program.”
We got into a discussion about how situations like his, where there’s a bias toward the woman as the child-rearer and therefore an inappropriate person is chosen as a guardian, exist not because there’s a bias against men, but a bias toward women. The system is broken because the men in charge have decided that women should raise children and men should bring home the bread, and that somehow men are incapable of child-rearing because it’s a women’s job.
(My husband suffered from this same bias; his daughter - my oldest stepdaughter - was given to his ex-wife despite her being a meth-addicted alcoholic who eventually wound up dying from her addictions. When she died and custody defaulted back to him and we went to go pick her up, she had two pairs of underwear, a single pair of sneakers, a pair of socks with holes in them, one pair of jeans, and two shirts. Her bra had holes in it and it was her only one. This was despite him repeatedly asking the courts to look into his daughter’s living situation.)
So my dad, a long-time men’s rights proponent, got convinced yesterday that men’s rights are actually women’s rights and that the system of bias exists because of the discrimination against women. We had a long, intelligent, well-thought-out discussion about the subject and it was honestly one of the most fulfilling things I’ve done this year. We then got into a discussion about victim-blaming and rape culture and gay rights and just….it was awesome. It was amazing to have a talk with someone who I thought was absolutely against me and realize that he was absolutely with me and willing to switch views with a reasoned argument.
I love my dad.
